John Lindgren in Bangkok

Bangkok Spye aka Jussi Lindgren

For donkey’s years or as the Swedes say “for donkey’s ears”

Jussi aka John Lindgren Bangkok Spye has been bumping in to people on the sidewalks and the footpaths, on the MTR & BTS platforms, in the supermarkets and on the pedestrian bridges of 'Krung Theep Mananakorn' also known as Bangkok.

Not because I am dyslectic, dyspeptic nor is it the pre-Alzheimer’s. Is it that my navigation system, my GPS, works on a different frequency? When I turn left they turn left. "They" the sweet, tolerant Thais, the indegenous people of this Far Eastern Kingdom. Left right and left again. Brake. Thumm! Not to mention that I am a brisk walker. Walk the walk and talk the talk, type of bloke, as the Brit(ishers) say.

I also talk too fast. And a tad, too loud. Who is hard of hearing?

Although I am mostly behind the wheel of my diamond black 1600cc Nassin Eon, that’s Nissan Neo backwards. So, when I have a chance to walk in the city I want the maximum exercise out of it.

And my speed walking results in bumping in to innocent Bangkokians small and tall, young and old. Or they bump in to me. Sudden lane changes, unexpected u-turns. Citizens making stationary promotional DTAC cell phone calls in the middle of the busy sidewalk. Or just talking to each other in the middle of the footpath, as the Brits say.

Just like Bangkok traffic. Organized confusion or confusion organized. The worst is the right hand turn and all the street vendors, food stalls, the blind and the lame sitting on the footbridges. Or members of the beggers brigade. And the occasional obese three-legged brown mutt.

What’s the remedy? For not bumping in to strangers? To keep walking far left. And slower speed from 5th to 3rd gear. 1st and 2nd , too. But DO NOT REVERSE!

Thailand drives on the left like the rest of Asia, India and Australia except China. So Jussi - Bangkok Spye keeps walking adamantly far left close to buildings, shops and railings. Keep far left hand and nobody will cut in front you.

If you see someone walking very close to walls building and building sites and footbridges – it’s Bangkok Spye Jussi Lindgren walking the walk on the footpaths of Bangkok.

In 2006 Bangkokians have learned a new French percent word: coup d’etat. Its not revolution it’s “Kuu De Taa”. KUU DE TAA. Germans call it "putsch", Bangkok Spye Jussi prefers coup d’etat. Sounds more civilized. Other civilized French words: Champagne, Foies Gras (Goose Liver) pity the geese – but it’s damn tasty, Camembert and of course, comme ci – comme ca. “So – so”. I know a Frenchman un Frog Monsieur Yves Democrat. Cool name! He is a fine saxophone player and performs regularly at the Bangkok Grand Hyatt lobby bar from nine pm onwards. Democrat, but in Thai-English democracy is one of those difficult words. Usually pronounced: “demo-crazy!” Just like electricity is always referred to as “electric-city!”

Time flies - TEMPUS FUGIT . Sounds likea fugitive. Time a a fugitive. Time is on the run. Time fleeing. So Hasta la Vista like the Terminator used to say.